My name is Michelle. I have been maried to a wonderful man named Ken for 19 years. We have two beautiful children Ben and Rebekah and lots of "adopted" children that come in and out of our home on a daily basis. It seems strange writing things down for just anyone to discover. My husband and I live a somewhat public life in our small town and a part of me cherishes the small corners of privacy that remain. Yet I find myself compelled to share my recent hearts journey with those who are interested. Mainly because as conversations have come up it seems others are on this journey too. I am not sure how to start or what to say...I suppose it will come out in pieces as we go. Hopefully it will make sense and those who read it will be encouraged and find as I have found, the love of the Trinity along the way.
What seems to come to mind right now is the reason for the title of this blog spot - Saturdays. In the church I attend we remember Christ crucified on Good Friday and on Sunday we celebrate His resurrection. Friday and Sunday. But what about the "in-between" Saturday? Not much is said about that day. The day when God goes silent and a resurrection has yet to come. The day when all that can be acknowledged is the aftermath of recent loss or the vague sense that something is not quite right. Saturday has gone largely un-acknowledged for me...that is until recently.
I am discovering the understated holiness of Saturday for it is the bridge that moves us from death to life. It's funny how life often springs forth from death. Christ was crucified in order to make available to us his resurrection life. The first generation of wilderness-Israelites died before God would lead their children into the promise land. Even nature bears witness to this death-to-life phenomenon. For instance, a pine cone consumed in a fire releases it's otherwise dormant seeds birthing a forest out of the ashes. As I look back on the past few years it seems I've experienced a similar passage-a firestorm of sorts- in which my own dreams & desires - what i know to be my "life" are slowly being laid to rest. Yet somewhere, out of the ashes new life is emerging. I am told God's dreams are better. I hope that's true. There have been glimpses of that truth along this journey....And in them I'm finding that Saturday is God’s silent storm and in it, somewhere, somehow, He comes near. He holds us as we writhe, loving us intimately, and we are forever changed! Oh how I have been tempted to run; run for dear life! But I must stay in this Saturday, every hour of it, before Sunday dawns. There are no short-cuts, just remarkable happenings with the Trinity along the way; ones that are often only seen and understood in retrospect.
I've grown rather fond of Saturday – at times I wouldn't wish it away for a moment. Those are the days when the grit of my struggle finds the embrace of God's love. But there are other days when my soul sits in begging screams – pleading to be taken off this bridge, this highway, that's commanding my surrender. Yet... as I remain...God's hand works in ways I thought were impossible; and slowly, ever so slowly, there is a sliver, a glorious sliver of light as Sunday's dawn peeks over the horizon...awakening my dormant soul...all through the sacred wait of Saturday.
