Favored, Not Forgotten - A look at how even in our darkest places, God redeems our story.

"Long lay the world, in sin and error pining; till he appeared and the soul felt it's worth. A thrill of hope. The weary world rejoices! For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!"

I live in the California Central Valley where much of the ground is dry and barren as we’ve weathered a long drought.  There was an earnest hope for rain as fall approached, and from this December 24^th viewpoint, we can see the drought finally breaking! Its finally raining!  I was wondering if the ground could recover from such a long dry spell, but there are tender little green things, long forgotten beneath the soil, finding their way through the top.  Little sprigs of hope serve as reminders how from the dark, quiet places….even when on the surface things look bleak and barren, life will emerge.

It reminded me of the SATURDAYS post, “Arise” from last Christmas - the one that talks about taking off our grave clothes to let the resurrected Jesus live through us.   But that's the good part of the story, kind of like when those fall rains finally came this year.  The before part of the story happens as Jesus showed up days after Lazarus died.  It didn't look so promising from that point.  Mary waited, and Martha scorned...By all accounts it was too late. Their brother was good and dead and the one person who could have done something about it passively wandered his way there.  Why did Jesus wait so long? Did He forget the urgency of the situation, or just choose to ignore it?  It seems so dismissive.

I’ve felt that way - forgotten by God.  Haven’t you?  There are times I want God to show up and make the situation better….NOW, but my prayers only seem to go as far as the ceiling then fall right back down and hit the floor.  I get weary in the wait and wonder if anything will ever change. (as mentioned in the previous post).  God's favor seems a far way off in the distance. It’s often in such vulnerable space that evil shows up, mingles with my story, dances with, doubt, shame and regret, and tries to convince me there is no way out - that things will never change, that I am (or the situation is) too broken to be made whole. But just like with Lazarus, God’s timing is different than ours, and he has something in mind far beyond what we can imagine.  

In the quiet, dark places where nothing seems to happen and our lives appear deeply submerged under the soil away from light…away from living, we can believe there is something better.  Our soul- soil, made by God, holds the seeds of long forgotten life. Lazarus comes forth.  Droughts receive the rains.  Night gives way to dawn.

For anyone out there who doesn’t know where you’re going, anyone groping in the dark, trust in God... lean on your God! – Isaiah 50:10

God isn't passive in the dark, he does some of his best work there!  Light dawned on the night a humble, betrothed Jewish woman, living under Roman occupation was visited by an angel who said, “Greetings… you who are highly favored”. Such words dispelled Mary’s terror.  Yet, her favored position didn’t look very favored at first.  It meant, misunderstanding, confusion, a change-up on her marriage plans, a marginalized reputation, a donkey ride for who knows how long …in labor!... only to be turned away during her most significant hour of need.

Then, from the darkness of the womb, the light of life comes.  Life always emerges from dark places – the soil, the tomb, the womb.  When darkness finds it deepest strength, Light shows up and breaks its hold.  Jesus waited on Lazarus because he wanted to tell the world he is coming for the places that are good and dead!  Fragile flesh showed up in a stable to change the story breath by breath.  Love is born!  And if we let it in, Living Water will break the drought and shatter the dark places of shame, disappointment, regret and resignation.  No longer must we live under their oppressive occupation! God has every intention of redeeming the stories we’ve given up on – the ones where we believe there is no way out and resign to the idea that things are what they are.  Those are places best suited for birth!  

Through the heartfelt mercies of our God, God’s Sunrise (Jesus) will break upon us. Shining on those in the darkness, those sitting in the shadow of death, then showing us the way, one foot at a time, down the path of peace – Luke 1:79

The question is will you and I take the journey?  Am I, are you, willing to "lay to rest" our life for His?  Are we willing to change our espoused plans with this world, risk our treasured things and trust that in it all, somewhere deep beneath the barren surface, God has something altogether better in mind?  If we do, we will find we were never forgotten...We were instead highly favored.

Where do you feel the need for urgent change? 
Where might God have you in waiting?
Practice sitting still before him for a few minutes, quieting your heart.  Ask God to show you his great love for you 
See if he desires to give you a vision for his purpose and ask him how you can join him in it.

Christmas, Advent....Keeping Watch - Finding a purpose in the wait...

Here it is the middle of December and I’ve put nothing about Advent or Christmas on this blog yet!  It’s been a strange season so far.  A large part of me longs for the days when my kids were little and the biggest question of the season was, “When can we open our presents?” Although I hated that question when they were younger because I never wanted Christmas to be about that.  So much feels in flux this year, and holds ambiguous waiting within it. I guess that’s exactly what ADVENT is all about. - Waiting, unsure of the how, if or when?

To appease our kids while they waited for Christmas we used things like an advent calendar which held little surprises – usually a sweet chocolate - for each day, or maybe a routine, like reading a Christmas book every night before bed.  Whatever it was, it kept the fire of anticipation stoked, refocused their gaze and reminded them that although Christmas is not here yet, it will be soon!  They were too young to really know why it was such a big deal that God showed up on the scene as a baby.  They just knew Christmas was special - goodness and love showed up for the day, and who doesn’t anticipate that?

To be honest, I don’t have much anticipation this year.  I feel caught somewhere between “Come thou long expected Jesus” and “Deck these stupid Halls with stinking Boughs of Holly” ….fa-la-la-la-la-la is about all I can come up with. 

Perhaps in the chaotic suspense I've become numb and cynical.  Its wearisome waiting for life to somehow make its grand appearance and certain things to be made right…Waiting for direction, waiting for relationships to be healed - ones that despite my best efforts remain as is. Waiting to know if my dad’s stem cell transplant will work.  Many of you, like me are waiting for things too sacred to share.  Humorously, even our car is in flux as we wait to find out if we can drive it come January, and if Volkswagen will correct their rather blatant “oops” in their diesel vehicles. 

In some form or another we all wait.  It is the human condition.   We “second-advent” wait for God to bring our stories to completion in His.  Stories that when we look too far ahead lack direction…stories that are rendered incomplete and less than perfect for the time-being, with chapters we would like changed.  These are the stories Jesus entered in first Advent when he took his first breath in a mucky trough.  They were "waiting stories" that long searched for deliverance.  Yet God purposed the wait.  He was preparing a people for himself - a people who did not know the when, if or how.  As Jesus came ‘in the fullness of time’, many could not discern his arrival.  Only a few recognized the events as sacred….they were the ones who kept watch and stayed patient in the long pause.  They were the ones whose eyes may have been weary yet they found a way to steady their gaze, open the windows of advent and taste for a moment the sweet goodness to come.   How do you and I, in the midst of sacred anticipation and chaotic distractions, wait well?

Isaiah 40:3-4 says to prepare a way for the Lord, make a straight path, every valley be raised up and every mountain made low.  There is a purpose in our waiting.  This 'already - but not yet' life is preparing a way for Jesus if we let it.  Mountains, valleys, crooked paths…these are the things that inhibit our ability to receive the arrival of God.  Pride shows up (as it did for the Pharisee) in the high places causing us to look down upon fragile flesh.  Shame finds secret refuge in the valley, mocking our sacred self of all that needs redeeming and tells us we could never be worthy.  In our waiting, we become bored and distractions turn up to divert our path. We shift our gaze and try rewriting a chapters we don't like.  But what if we stay…what if we stay long enough through the boredom and the muck to let God enter our shame and love-level our pride?  What if we let Holiness companion with us through the crooked wait and discover the long awaited gift, the present, is actually his presence…. sight comes.  A star high above appears and journeys us further up and further in to the heart of God.  Our story, swallowed up into His, is redeemed. 

So let us wait…let's crack open the door of our shame and let love in. It won't be pretty but through it God will birth beauty.  Let's listen to our heart and own its arrogance that says, "I am better", and let;s fast from entitlement…lets look for windows of goodness and love happening in the mucky ordinary…and let us ask the Lifter of our head to set our eyes to the sky to keep watch for the star... and we will journey – one step at a time – to Him.

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along the way.  If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter.  He does our praying got us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans.  He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God.  That's why we can be so sure that every detail of our lives of love for God is worked into something good."  Rom 8:26-28