A Surprise Discovery!

“Search me, Oh God, and know my heart:  test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”  Ps 139:23-24 (NIV)

This post is in conjunction with the previous posts beginning with "Making Room"

Hey all,  (Remember, we are talking about cleaning out the garage.)  So to continue on in this story,  once we opened up our garage to clean it we  had to determine what could stay and what needed to go.  I was surprised to find a bag of garbage sitting in the corner taking up space.  Would you ever store garbage in your garage?  I know it was never my intention, that's for sure!  It can get very hot in the summer where we live. Heat and garbage do not mix well!  If it is stored in my garage it would stink up the whole house! That's why it had to go!  That's when it dawned on me that I can often store garbage in my heart.  It comes in the form of harbored offences, contempt, or unresolved hurt and pain.  This is the toxic garbage in the heart that begins to stink!   It’s tempting when we sense heart-garbage coming up to brush past it or find some air freshener. However, If left addressed it becomes offensive and repels others away as we speak and act from our toxic heart.  It can and will bring harm to others.  It will do no good to simply rush by the smell or try to cover it up..  The smell (what comes out of us as we speak and act)  is the symptom and the symptom has a source (broken, hurting, toxic heart) and the source has hope!

 You see, when things get heated and I have a strong negative response to a situation, there's a good chance the winds have changed and the garbage in my heart is getting noticed.  What happens when I encounter something offensive? It might surprise me to feel seething anger rising suddenly.  I might catch myself being edgy towards others,  or want to pick up the phone to chat up the "offence" with my friends, family or colleagues.  I may even use pretty words or put a "spiritual" spin to it so I can hide the stink of my own heart.   However, if I resist those protective yet harmful responses and choose to engage my heart instead, something happens.  Something real and legitimate. When I can acknowledge that my heart is hurt or disrupted and I want to soothe it, then I can consider what it really needs.  

That's why it would be good to pause and take note of my response and consider what may be causing it.  Then ask God for his wisdom and truth about the situation and about me.  What are the offensive ways in me that need to be addressed?  What is the hurt that needs his love?  This helps me to no longer brush by the garbage, denying its existence and pretending it does not stink.  The fact is, it does and while I may have become accustom to it, others have not!  I'm relieved that God loves even the sinner because that's me.  He longs to come along side and restore me with His love.  When the garbage in my heart is cleared out God has more room to take up residence.  My words and actions become an outflow of His presence within.  This is what it means for His “kingdom on earth as it is in heaven” to move through us. – What a JOY!  

Lord, quicken my mind to see the garbage that infects my heart.  I don’t want it to be there anymore.  Help me not rush past it but to find the source and let you in.  Please love and heal the broken, toxic places in me and lead me to the way everlasting.