What Was I Thinking?!!

  #thoughtsandfeelingsareabigdeal

Just before Lent began our family spent some time around the dinner table talking through how we would be observing the season.  We had some good laughs because it is ALWAYS easy to notice someone else's issues more than our own.  So there were a few, umm, shall we say..."creative" ideas for each other.  None the less, we forged on in the conversation and shared what our personal plan was for Lent.  At first I took the easy route and said I would be fasting from carbohydrates and I felt pretty good about it.  That is until my daughter jokingly suggested, "I think you should fast from your favorite TV show, mom!" We all had a good laugh as I squirmed though the moment with a defensive justification by saying, "Hey!  Cut me some slack!  I could be a compulsive shopper, drug user, or worse!  I have no shame in watching a detective show once a week...(or maybe re-watching it)"  

#castleismydrugofchoice

The fact is she was right!  What I needed to do was fast from what had the potential to distract me from holy devotion to a God who is unswervingly wholly devoted to me.  But it was not the TV show I needed to fast from.  It was my thoughts.  Not every thought, mind you, but the thoughts that consistently pulled me out of reality and away from abiding with God.  As I considered doing that, I began to notice how often my little thoughts of an ideal life, whether it be how my husband and I interacted, how my house looked, how my kids behaved, or my own vision for personal success, were driving me.  The fact is, my thoughts around each were creating a growing sense of discontent.  When my vision for such an ideal life was thwarted, as it often is, those innocent desires turned quickly to demands. 

To avoid throwing my family under the proverbial bus, here is a fictitious scenario.

Desire (attached to a thought): "I would like a tidy home, please pick up your socks."

Demand: (again attached to a thought that is now fueled by socks not being picked up) "Come ON!  Is this really too much to ask??!  Pick. Up. Your. STINKY. Socks!!!" 

Then when my charitable invitation towards responsible living is again disregarded, I internally judge.  "You ALWAYS leave your socks on the floor!!"  

Which promptly affords the opportunity to punish the offending party. "I don't want to sit by you.  Your socks stink because your FEET stink! ...maybe...YOU are stinky too!"  

At which point we may "justifiably" hop onto Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook to bombard ourselves with 648 of our closest friends who seemingly live an over-the-top happy, successful life free of stinky socks; complete with on-going cancer donations, honor student children (who needs a bumper stick when you have social media?) and family vacations in Tahiti !  I dare anyone to post the argument that likely occurred on the plane to Tahiti....but i have digressed.

Suffice it to say, thoughts hold images in our mind and they ALWAYS incite an emotion within us and that feeling can be good or bad.   We unknowingly commit ourselves to our feelings to avoid the bad and encounter the good...or at least our version of good.  Feelings can be stubborn little buggers because they literally have a mind of their own! It is impossible to control our feelings.  We may THINK we control them but often all we really do is suppress them, they do not go away on command.  Suppressing them only puts them in the closet for a while until another opportunity arises for them join...or crash, the party.  

How could I go from zero to sixty on the "Anger-O-Meter" over dirty socks so quickly?  Because my thoughts were already setting the trajectory and I had "closeted" my discontentment for easy reach and convenient access.  (by the way, when we notice that our response is out of proportion to the situation, its a good indication that feelings are hidden in the closet and have just been let out) The instant my ideal vision was interrupted, those feelings burst open the door of the closet and entered the room like a birthday party at a Mexican restaurant!

While we cannot control our feelings we CAN control our thoughts.  We can choose what we think about.  That's why Paul says to "Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ."  Holiness begins in our thoughts.  When we take our thoughts captive we keep our feelings in the room and capture the thoughts behind them.  We take over their "mind" by re-informing it with God's truth.  

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2

 Over this Lent season I am working to re-inform my thoughts, and as I do, my emotions are changing.  For example, changing my thought from, "I am successful if my house looks like it belongs in a magazine."(Oh who am I kidding?...Success would look like finished laundry and dishes being done!) to "I matter to God andso does my family.  His vision is not thwarted by dirty dishes or laundry",  allows me to take out the urgent worry or fear that's driving the situation and respond more reasonably.  I mean, seriously?  Dirty, stinky socks DO NOT have that much power people!!   ....But our thoughts sure do!

How does this relate to the previous post?  Because change comes when we begin to think differently.  Thoughts can literally change how we feel and when we feel different, we act different.   It's time to take our thoughts out of the "slum" and set them on a trajectory toward the true heart of God.



More on this next time....