Full

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog page.  Advent seemed a good time to begin again.  One of the reasons I took a break was because of my own cynicism.  After all, this blog is called “Saturdays” and if you are familiar with it at all, you know that “Saturdays” is a reference to the day of “wait” that occurred between Christ’s Crucifixion and Sunday’s resurrection and how that wait-day plays out symbolically in our own lives from time to time.  I guess part of me just became tired of the wait that “Saturday” was bringing.  Now, here we are at the beginning of Advent – another wait.  Wait, upon wait, upon wait!  As if life itself is just one long Saturday straining toward…something.   But what?

For the United States, Advent begins just after Thanksgiving where we share a tradition of feasting with our friends and family, giving thanks for God’s provision and blessings over the past year.  Guests come hungry and leave full.  Overly full! I remember hearing my grandmother saying to us, "Be careful not to eat too many treats, it will ruin your appetite."  One year I chose not to heed her advice and I stuffed myself on all the little things long before the turkey was ever served.  I had forgotten all about the dinner and my belly was so full I no longer had the appetite to feast!  Even dessert sounded less appealing by the end of the day.  So there I sat at the table, half-heartedly sharing a meal, the real meal, with the rest.  So why do I bring this up?  Because when we are hungry we will eat just about anything.  When we are full we won’t.  Studies have shown that a starving person will even choose to eat something toxic in order to satisfy themselves.  Hunger drives us.

I wonder if hunger drove those who waited so long ago for the Messiah.  I wonder how many stuffed themselves on oppressive laws (beyond what God had established), sensationalism, Self-aggrandizement - pride, and distractions.  Their souls were filled with “toxins” and they no longer had an appetite for a living Christ.  God in a diaper made little sense to them because their bellies had become full on lesser loves as they forgot what they were waiting for.    But for those who waited for the feast, who longed and hungered for the promise – they found Him.  Christ showed up and satisfied their hunger with good things.  He brought the real meal. (Luke 1:53)   

In my recent soul-hunger I forgot how to feast, and instead nibbled away at lesser loves, toxic substitutes and found myself suspiciously full, unsatisfied and cynical. Like I did as a child at Thanksgiving, I became distracted on my way to the table losing sight of the real meal - Christ coming near and sharing his presence.

Maybe that's why a seemingly smallish, diaper-wearing God was beginning to bug me too.  Maybe in the wait, my appetite changed and did not match what he had to offer.   Maybe I was having a hard time letting God be God and accepting the fact that I am not.   In any case,  as I reorient, I am noticing how “empty” I am and  I want to welcome this impoverished heart and introduce her to Christ again…and I see HOPE.  This really is a long Saturday straining toward something.  It is straining toward Emmanuel – God with us; He is worth the wait!  Only in His presence can we taste and see that he is indeed good and we become… full.

So as we enter this season of Advent what are you hungering for and how are you feeding yourself?

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 

for they will be filled.  - Matt 5:6