Beautiful, Lovely Community - Dealing with the vision, the disappointment, and the possibility of lasting Christian community

photo by Kelly Hofer

Welcome one another…Forgive one another….Be faithful… Bear with…Be kind, be compassionate…Spur on toward love and good deeds…Submit…Pray… Confess…Encourage…be united...share.

Don’t slander…Don’t make up stories that hurt…Don’t provoke… Don’t envy….

…love.  These are the “One Anothers” found in scripture; mostly in the writings from Paul. They offered a vision of community - One of gracious, open, and loving friendship.  I don't know about you, but I want to be a part of such a community.  

The Climate of the One-Another Community
  

Between Jesus and Paul, these characteristics of  come up 59 times.  Which suggests that not only was it a big deal, but also that it wasn’t already happening.  The early church was still learning what it meant to be followers of "The Jesus way".  Some of the disciples/apostles didn’t always get along (Acts 11, 15; and Gal 2).  And sometimes they were exclusive and cliquish with "outsiders" (Luke 9:54). They were often too tired or distracted to pray for each other (Matt 26:36-42).  There was disunity because of gossip.  Arrogance, misunderstandings, and, long-held offences fractured this new little church.  There were marital affairs, lawsuits, and distorted sexuality which Paul addressed in several of his letters to the churches.  Fear of persecution was real.  Unity in Christ and unconditional love, sparse!  This was the community in which the “one anothers” were interjected.

Sound familiar?  I’m going to venture a guess it isn’t much different from the community we see now, in the 21^st century.  The church is fractured and broken because it is made up of broken, fractured people - people who, like you and me, make mistakes, big and small, every day.  People who forget to pray their worries, but remember to gossip their concerns.  People whose pain is full but healing and forgiveness, slender.  People who feel isolated and desperately desire a close circle of friends. People who are still learning to be followers of "The Jesus way". 

The Search for Community

We long for a “one another” place, but rarely find it.  In fact most of us, after having sought it somewhere for a while, become disillusioned when our idea(l) of community is shattered.  We often move on, hoping to find a better version elsewhere.  We think we see it happening at this church or that group and we head there.  Perhaps it works for a while, but it isn't long before we are disillusioned again.  Like a pot at the end of a rainbow, healthy, robust community appears a promise always a bit out of reach. 

So what are we to do? In our efforts to find it we must first decide to BE the "One Another community ourselves.  What we long for begins with us learning to live like Jesus - gracious, open and loving...even when its hard.   It means I may need to re-arrange my life in such a way that it has room for relationships; which may require finding time for hospitality and honest conversation in lieu of sport activities, or my favorite T.V. show.  It means when a brother or sister who shares my

commitment to follow Christ comes to me with a concern about my life, I will openly and humbly listen, and courageously return the favor when needed. That's love and encouragement.  It means when I am angry or hurt by someone’s actions, I will let God do the work in me first, and I will process the situation with an appropriate few instead of seeking comfort through a prayer request that may only lead to further misunderstanding and offence.  That's forgiveness and regard for another's reputation.  It means I will confess my sins when appropriate, believing that in doing so God does a healing work in me (James).   It doesn’t mean I will do these things perfectly, in fact it’s likely I’ll get it wrong a lot of the time, but I will do them intentionally…with others who are desiring to do the same…we will “work out our salvation” and “not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing"…we will "spur one another on toward love and good deeds and all the more as we see the day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25) 

The Messy Work of One-Another-ness

Yet even as I type these words I feel the “ideal” creeping back in.  This is hard work, because often our vision collides with reality, and because of that, sometimes we’d rather use these “one anothers” as weapons of righteous indignation.  “Doesn’t scripture say to be kind?”  Comes our hearts-cry when we’ve been hurt.   “How can they call themselves a Christian and act like that!?”  ...And sometimes people feel that way about us.

One thing is becoming soberingly clear, we cannot transport and “drop” ourselves into loving community.  It must be built.  We become the recipients of it as we put hand to trowel, lock arms and decided to stay in it together…letting Christ form us through our collective surrender to his higher ways of love.  There was no other pathway for the early church and there is no other pathway for us.
In fact, crashing up against the disillusionment of the ideal can be a grace in disguise.  It affords us the opportunity to experience our need for love in a deeper way.  It is only when we become needy for love at the deepest heart level that we can begin to consider something more - Christ’s love.  When we run out of options that we thought would satisfy us, we are more open to Christ.  It enables us to receive His love as it pours itself into our vacant longings and we become full.   Full enough to love back. After all, we love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

So what do you think?
 Have you been on a search for community/friendship that continues to evade your experiences?
Are you moving from place to place to find it?  Are you looking for it in others and neglecting the role you play?

God has a vision for his church – a vision that takes form as we step into relationship with Him and others, release our ideal of it, and trust that in the messy work of “One Another-ness” we will encounter His good and beautiful life together.