To be completely honest,
I struggled over how to write this blog post.
It is adapted from a old journal entry and every time I took it out of the “first person experience” for this blog, it
lost a good part of its meaning and sounded like rhetoric…so I didn’t. I don’t write it this way for consolation or
sympathy but in hopes of putting voice to what I know is common to us all.
“I
hope that you have had a blue-sky kind of day, even if it’s snowing.”
My
friend sent those words as a greeting recently.
I honestly don’t know if she meant it literally or figuratively …probably
both. Her words struck me and were
deeply meaningful. I live in a part of
California where a 90 minute drive east would bring me right into the snowy Sierra
Nevada Mountains; and a drive westerly
for about the same amount of time, would
tumble me straight onto the sandy beaches and blue skies of the coast. BUT I live in the valley. It’s the in-between place where the clouds
collect from the coastal ranges and pass through as they make their way up the
mountains to drop their snow. Winter
here often looks drizzly, gray and foggy with the occasional warm day brining a sunny respite. However, when those respites hide themselves, it is not unusual for families to take a Sunday drive and “get above the clouds to find some sun for the day”. After
all, the soul needs it.
I’m
finding myself in a soul-season that feels a lot like winter in The
Valley. Circumstances
seem to be piling one upon the other like collected clouds between mountain peaks, and struggle falls
like rain? How does one have a
blue-sky kind of day when the grey hovers so ostentatiously? I don’t
really want to read another verse about trials building perseverance and
perseverance character, and character…blah blah blah. I want to escape and take my soul on a Sunday
drive to find some sun…But where?
I
know that Isaiah reminds us to put our down-cast soul into the hopes of God (Ps
42). And I know that, “He
keeps track of all our sorrows, and has collected all our tears in his bottle, recording
each one in His book.” (Ps 56:8). Maybe
the light dawns as we go limp for a while and weep, letting the clouds of our
soul drop their tears, and perhaps the blue-sky kind of day comes about while
we sit in the drizzle of the rain, held by the One who alone keeps track of it all….
…
Maybe the best thing we can do at times is just sit somewhere in the valley, between the blue-sky
and the snow, and let it rain.
Will trials build perseverance? Yes, if I stay in the trial and let God do his refining work in me. That’s how perseverance leads to character; and the sheer amazement of that actually happening builds hope. And hope lifts our eyes above the clouds to see the abundant resources held in heavens courts awaiting our appeal. (Rom 5)
If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t
matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless
sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves,… and
keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in
our lives of love for God is worked into something good. - Romans 8:26-28
So if you find yourself longing for a blue-sky kind of day even if it's snowing outside, let it rain a bit. Trust that the Spirit will hold you before God and work out the details, at His ready the clouds will clear, making Hope's harvest sure.
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