Yet Will I Praise Him...

We bring the sacrifice of praise into the house of the Lord.

Several years ago I found myself saddened over deep loss for the first time.  I remember thinking up ways to try and by-pass the pain.  It’s funny when we are confronted with sorrow how we first seek to avoid its sting.  We do things like get busy, or lose ourselves in movies or books. As much as I wanted to tell myself it was fine the truth was I was disappointed and sad and there was not much I could do about it.  And over time, as things settled, I began to fully bend to sorrows blow.

People would come over and seek to console me but rarely are there words that hold sorrow well.  What I do remember is their presence, and the occasional word of encouragement from someone who had experienced pain and was now on the other side of it.  It never really mattered what it was, after all loss is not always relative.  Loss is loss.

Since then life has afforded many other sorrows and I’ve grieved even “greater” losses.  There were days when picking my head up from the pillow seemed about all I could do, and walking through a market to buy groceries happened on legs that felt like Jell-O, and with a heart so heavy in my chest air had to force its way in.  That’s what grief feels like.  That’s how sorrow makes it way out through our pores. 

But I learned something during that first season of grief; something that has proved quite valuable. It happened while in church on a day when I had to force myself to even show up.  My husband is a pastor and I knew that I would be sitting alone and if grief decided to makes it appearance it would be unaccompanied and put on display from the front row.  Those were the days when a particular praise song called Shout to the Lord was sung just about everywhere - I knew it well.  But that day in the midst of my sadness as that song was being sung something in me moved.  Something?  …More like God’s spirit in me made a decision on my behalf (Rom 8:26-28).  For whatever reason I could set grief aside, and as the rest of the congregation sat, I stood. (So much for trying to be discrete in my sadness).   It was like I was saying to God, myself and everyone else that while I may be sad and the sky is oh so dark, this sorrow will not steal your glory nor will it steal my strength.

 “Shout to the Lord all the earth, Let us sing!  Power and majesty and praise to the King.  Mountains will fall and the seas will roar at the sound of your name! I sing for joy at the works of your hand forever I love you, forever I’ll stand.  Nothing compares to the promise I have in you!”

That’s when the meaning of the familiar song, “We bring the sacrifice of praise into the house of the Lord.” made a little more sense….”We offer up to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving, joy and praise” (Heb. 13:15).  Sometimes coming to God in worship requires a laying down of that which we dearly love regardless of whether or not we will get it back…and in laying it down God pulls our “Jell-O-ed” legs to stand and holds our heavy-hearted song.  This is not blind trust.  It is evidence of the Holy Spirit's companionship and promises his strength of joy.  Our chosen worship affronts the blows of sorrow and says, “Yet. will. I . praise . Him!”