Saddling Up - Setting fear aside to follow God!

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deut 31:8

A few week ago I enjoyed a weekend get-away with my family and a few friends at Kennedy Meadows Resort and Pack Station.  Kennedy (as we've come to call it) is nestled near the Sierra Nevada Summit in California.  It's one of the last honest cowboy places around, and certainly not "fancy"!  But it's run by real cowboys, and comes complete with a saloon, pack station, a general store, and rustic cabins for overnight stays.  My husband's parents have spent over fifty summers there and know the horses and trails like the back of their hands.  They are great trail guides and generously offer such trips to us when we come, so of course we planned a ride with our friends for the weekend!  

Our friends were new to riding horseback and anxiety was a little high as we waited for a guided trail ride.  I was quick to remind them that the horses know this trail better than we do, so we can trust them!  Trust...hmmm... so here's a teeny confession: Sometimes trust doesn't always come easy for me and when I ride (novice that I am!), I try too hard to control the horse’s movements, tenaciously holding the reigns thinking I know the route better than the creatures who spend countless days taming it (Think James 4:13-15).  And,...well...Usually that’s how I end up in the brush, off the trail, scratched up and trying to turn around (I think that’s called repentance!)  

OK, back to the story.  We spent an hour or so that day meandering through meadows, making our way through the rustic woods and across a river that moved through the meadows like a quiet blessing.  It's funny, while the river seemed quiet, it felt much different as we tried to cross it.  The water's voice grew louder as we made our way into it. The horses hooves slipped and "clopped" on the rocks immersed just beneath the surface. Some of the riders were unsure how to let the horse cross, and there was a little hollering, whinnying, and splashing - anxious chaos! Yet we made our way through those deceptively still waters! 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. – Isa 43:2

On the other side came an unexpected respite as the deer lazily greeted us, exchanging soft glances our way while we lingered through gigantic redwood trees that stood as cathedrals among the aspen and wild flowers. It was lovely! 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

    And lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways submit to him,

    And he will make your paths straight.  Prov 3:5-6

When our ride ended and we returned to the pack station, I asked our friend Ana, who was visiting from Europe, if she enjoyed it.  Here is what she said: “At first, I felt a lot of fear inside.  I was worried about what might happen, but then I said in my mind to the horse, ‘I know that you are used to this, you know what you are doing, and where you are going; so I will trust you. I will not let fear control me.  If I hold on to fear it will only make things worse. This is good. I am safe. So Let’s go!’  Then I enjoyed the ride very much.”

I couldn’t help but notice how Ana’s story mirrors the journey of following Christ.  It begins with trust - trusting in something, or someone, beyond ourselves to journey us into something new.  But trust can be hard, especially when it means going in a direction that feels unfamiliar or scary, and it requires our surrender! We sense the invitation but fear-feeding thoughts rise to the surface of our mind, don’t they?  We become riddled with what-if’s.  What if I can’t control this? (Hint: We already can’t! ;-)) What if something bad happens and I can’t fix it?  What if I find myself alone with no idea where to go? What if I’m humiliated and lose respect from others? What if this decision causes loss or pain to those I love? What if ….? 

Fear can keep me from ever putting my foot in the stirrup and getting on the horse at all!  Sometimes I’d rather keep my feet on the ground, safe and secure in my comfy place, called predictability.  If our friends did that we would not have gotten on those horses that day; and we would have missed the journey and beauty of the ride.  If Ana stayed focused on her fear, even when she was on the horse, her ride would have been miserable and the only enjoyable part would have been when it was over!   Horses aside, I’ve done that in life, haven’t you? I've opted out of  something when it felt too hard or scary; or in lack of surrender, I’ve gritted my teeth through the journey counting the minutes instead of the blessings – holding tight to the reigns, trying to steer in directions not meant for me.  

Surrendering to the ride is much better.  That’s when we can rest in the calm splendor of God and encounter beautiful rivers of life-giving mercy and grace.  I remember the sound of the horses’ hooves on the rocks as we crossed the river with our friends that day; and I wonder if it isn't similar to how we might can recall the voice of God leading us through the waters of our own story.  He reminds us that, though we may be anxious, He is good and will be good to us.  

Like Ana at the start of her ride, we can say with confidence to God,  "I know that this is not new to you.  You know what you are doing and where you are going.  So I will trust you and I will not let fear control me, fear will only make things worse! This is good, I am safe, so let’s go!”