Soaking...YBH?

During a recent late-season snow storm I was reminded how much you can hear when all goes cold and quiet.  Have you ever noticed that?  When it snows all the ambient noise seems to be muffled and the crackling of a tree, the bark of a distant dog, even the crunchy steps of our trail making its way on a walk seem all the louder.  Each would be missed if it were not for the dampening blanket of fresh-fallen snow.  They would be drowned out by all the extra noise. In the last post the idea of soaking in God's presence came up, and while it sounds like a good idea,  ideas often come with little means to actually accomplish them.  It's the old adage of "Yes but how?" or YBH.

 So I thought this post could be about the HOW.  How can we become present with God... and ourselves.  Let's face it, with our busy schedules and frantic world, it's nearly impossible to actually retreat for a bit and "soak".  Ambient noise is at an all-time high!  We often need something to help us muffle out the "sounds" that surrounds us so we can actually listen.  So here is a listening exercise I've found helpful over the years.  It is designed to help us become quietly present with ourselves and God.  Honesty is the only way this works...so leave your "should-self" behind and bring your very real, imperfect self with you. 

To begin, sit somewhere comfortable and quiet (if possible) to avoid being distracted by discomfort or noise.  Then acknowledge God's presence with you through a short prayer.  Any will do but here's what I often use,  "God, thank you for being near right now.  Help me know your presence and find your voice, and respond to it accordingly. Amen." Then journal your way through the following.


You may initially read this and think, "Oh brother! This doesn't look very 'spiritual' at all!"...I dare you to try it and see just how wonderfully God meets you in it - and wherever God show's up - His Spirit is there too....spiritual...God is so much bigger than our human constructs.  So if this seems a little "out there" for you...that's ok :)  He is capable of holding you in the place of His Presence that is right, true and good.

LISTEN FOR NOISE - What am I thinking about?  What's on my mind?  Write it down.(Try not to edit, judge, analyze or be critical toward the thoughts in your head - just write them down)

LISTEN TO YOUR PHYSICAL BODY: What is my body saying?  Physically, how do I feel right now?

LISTEN TO YOUR FEELINGS: What is my heart sensing? What am I feeling? (Again, don't edit, judge, analyze or be critical.  Let yourself feel what is there.)

LISTEN TO GRATITUDE: What are you thankful for in your life right now?  Who? (Invite the Holy Spirit to help you make a list of all that you are thankful and grateful.)

LISTEN TO YOUR DESIRES: What do you desire?  Both surface and deep desires. (Again, don't edit, judge, analyze, or be critical.  Just write down what you desire.)

LISTEN TO HEAR GOD'S DESIRES: Ask God, "What is on your heart?  What do you desire?  Is there anything you want to say to me or that you desire for me?

....Enjoy the "soaking" 

Oh yeah, and if you could use one adjective to describe how you felt going into the exercise, and one adjective to describe how you felt leaving it, what would those two words be?  

God rewrote the text of my life
    when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.

 2 Sam 22:23

SOAKING

As summer quickly approaches, I've been noticing a few things around our yard.  For one, there is a small flower bed in the corner of our driveway that's often overlooked because it’s isolated from the rest of the garden.  IT's only when I'm already in my car driving away that I notice it and think, "Later, when I get a chance, I need to deal with that."  Well later never comes because there is ALWAYS something else to do.

As time passes I become bothered by the unsightly condition of that flower bed as it never seems to take care of itself…the nerve!  I even worry that others will notice it as they drive up (News Flash:  THEY DO...it's pretty obvious!)  As weeds keep growing, the wind brings debris that gladly settles itself among the cluttered, lonely soil. It’s as if the little space has forgotten altogether that it was once a lovely display of African Daisies.  So the other day, as my husband and I were cleaning up the side yard I decided to do something about about that little neglected gem.

The debris was picked up quickly and discarded, some of the weeds came up easily too (They were near a neighboring water-source so the grounds was soft and the weeds came up roots and all.)  However, most of the bed was dry and hard and the weeds were stubbornly rooted, refusing to give up there well solidified home.  I pulled a few but as you may well know, only the stems give way when you do that, leaving the root to continue on its merry way beneath the surface.  Now I could have stopped there and just quickly clipped the stems; Heaven knows my lazy-self wanted to!  The flower bed would have LOOKED good. Nobody would know the difference …at least for a while.  But I've learned better from my mistakes.  So out came the hose and on went the water…Not too much mind you, I did not want the hardened surface to refuse the offering and cause all kinds of run-off.  I needed the ground to SOAK.  The soil needed some time to take in the water at a pace it could absorb.  Later that day I easily removed the weeds because the ground was soft and malleable. 

Over the past several posts we've been talking about what it takes to change and become a different and freer person, reflecting the beautiful God-image held within each of us.  It struck me as I worked on that forgotten flower bed that my soul is not much different.  Beauty hides and becomes choked when I forget to tend the soil of my heart. Weeds and debris collect instead.  Often my actions become offensive, even unsightly!  And frankly, sometimes I don’t really care because I’m hardened by neglect and pass it on to others  Ouch!  I hate to say that, but it’s true…Just like the noticeable neglect in the corner of my driveway, the condition of my heart shows up in my actions.

 It's no use trying to manage our behavior when the "soil" from which it stems is neglected.  If I want to be different-If you want to be different, then we must put a stop to managing our behavior...it's no different than pulling weeds from hardened soil.  Only what's visible goes away, the root remains and will most definitely grow again....NOPE! ... Not a good plan.   

So first things first! We need a little soaking.  We need to let the hurried, busy rhythm of our life suspend for a bit and give time for God’s waters to pour forth.  I've often heard (and I've felt it myself) that, "Solitude is just too hard", or  “I just don’t have time.” Or "I don’t know what to do with myself, and is it really THAT productive?” ....Well....Yes! Jesus often withdrew to "lonely places" for prayer and the result was rather remarkable.  I could go on with other examples but come on!   If the Son of God modeled it?....Need we go any further? 

"Every distraction of the body, mind and spirit must be put into a kind of suspended animation before this deep work of God upon the soul can occur." - Richard Foster

Just like soaking the soil of that flower bed, God will bring his deep work and renewal as we "soak" in Him. And it will come at a pace we can absorb, so don't fret the process.  Leave the fretting to your aunt Mae! The main thing is to stop and pause, and become present with God in the moment that you do have.  Sometimes it IS hard, but so are the soils of a neglected soul.  Just like real weeds, spiritual “weeds” don’t leave on their own.  In fact, some require extra soaking time.  Taking the occasional glance and saying, “Someday I need to deal with that.”  Will never get the job done.  Unless we spend some time alone with God, quieting our withering, hardened self to let God’s life-waters trickle in, we. won’t. change.  It’s that simple.  But take heart! God reminds us that as we find space for him, “There I will meet with you, and I will speak to you.” (Exodus 29) When we look for Him, He shows up!  And when He does, Love finds its way into the soil of our heart and we become changed. 

“I will take your heart of stone 

and give you a heart of flesh.”
Exekiel 36:26  

Lord Have Your Way....wait...WHAT???!

In continuing on from the previous posts "Why is Growing Up Like Having a Root Canal?" and "What Was I Thinking?!" 

SO last week on Sunday I posted on Facebook, "Getting ready to worship in loving community with a few other Jesus followers...I'm so glad and full of joy !!"  After said declaration, I cheerfully locked my car and walked to the Worship Center, greeting people along the way.  Feeling rather glad to be heading in to a time of worship, I thought to myself, "My Michelle, aren't you prepared for church today!  Give yourself a holy pat on the back! Just look at how bright and cheerful you are!"  It's sick, I know. But, come on...you know you've done the same thing.  They are the times when all is "right with the world" and no inward "grouchies" are in sight.  Any bad emotions are sealed tightly behind the closed doors of our external presentation of "self"

As the worship time moved along, we began singing "I Surrender".  There were many who demonstrated a desire for God through a posture of full surrender.  I'm sure you know what I mean, arms extended and open wide, faces towards Heaven, eye's closed singing with abandon, "I want to know you more, I want to know you more.  I surrender" The song went on,

 "Like a rushing wind, Jesus breath within."  OH yes those words sound so appealing don't they?  Just come in Jesus, come make your home here in me...be my very breath!

 "Lord have your way, Lord have your way in me!"  WAIT!....What??  - Hold on.  I don't know if I really want this?  Suddenly the "joy" I walked in with was being bullied out of me by this cruel suggestion of surrender and imminent loss of control!

I caught myself looking around the room (And before you get "concerned" that I was becoming distracted and not "worshiping", rest assured.  I was more engaged than ever!) I wanted to say, "People, WAIT! Do you know what you are singing? Let's THINK about this for a minute... Do we really WANT what we're asking!?"  We sing a song like this and we are swayed along by desire that, dare I say, might find it's only root in the warmth of the immediate.  It feels good so we sing it.  It's weird how we can go on auto-pilot during worship, singing songs word for word while our mind and heart "zone-out".  When our mind zones out our habits, like little children left on a playground without a teacher, follow our emotions for hunt of something pleasant- the proverbial "warm-fuzzy". In this case, for me, it was the worship service. (By the way, we seldom limit our quest for the "warm-fuzzy" to the singing.  Plenty-a-pastor has  been cruelly exploited in our quest as well...said the pastor's wife ;) )...but again, I have digressed.  The truth is we are after something legitimate that we think a "warm-fuzzy" will give us....

We LONG for deep knowing.  As people created in the image of God, we can't help but strain toward it.
 The problem is, a "warm fuzzy" won't be enough to sustain us into the heart of God. It's like catching a glimpse of something good just across the water, getting into a boat to cross over to it, only to discover your boat keeps leaking and no matter how many times you try, the boat will sink before your arrival every time.   So while a warm-fuzzy may be a welcomed invite, it remains just that - an invite.  It opens the door to something more if we want it.  If we do,  then we must find a vessel capable of getting us there.

Well that morning I wasn't sure I even wanted the invite... Do I want to know God more...Did I want HIM to know ME more (Like I could hide from Him - haha!)? Well, if I wanted it, then according to the song (and scripture), The vessel to get me there is to surrender my story.  That means choosing to embrace the good with the bad and letting God take up residence in it all, trusting that in the windfall, His breath will breathe life into mine.  Not magically, mind you,  It requires a little partnering on our part...that's what sanctification is - joining God in our journey of becoming changed...made new... more like Him.  Along the way we will be jostled by the "waters", but not forsaken....broken and shaped but not destroyed, at times lonely but never left alone.  He will be there and we will learn to "know Him more". Over time, as we find delight in Him, His desires will become ours, we will naturally love more like him, naturally find joy in the good and swayed less by the allure of the bad. 

So what am I babbling on about? For a long time I've stared across the lake at the vision of knowing God more; realizing that it brings life and joy!  ...But sometimes it is easy to forget the vessel that will carry me there - to the heart of God - includes a Gethsemane walk.  Not just Christ's, but mine.  "Lord have your way in me"  sounds a lot like Jesus' blood-sweat prayer in the Garden, "Father, if it is possible remove this cup from me, yet not my will but yours." In other words,  "God, I might not like what's going on and I may want out...but I will surrender... I will let you write the story your way.  Show me how to live like Jesus ...even in this."

Beyond the warm-fuzzy of religious exhilaration there is a life of deep Joy waiting for us.  Letting God have His way in us is a difficult surrender but it is the vessel that leads just such a life.