Faith-Borrowing

Yesterday I was on a walk and noticed a park with newly planted trees; each with their own set of stakes to keep them growing straight until they are rooted enough on their own to weather wind and rain...It reminded of me of a time several years ago when one of our kids encountered their own type of storm and reached a point where their circumstances collided with their faith.  Up until then, everything about God seemed to coincide with their experiences.  And really, their circumstances had not yet been out of their control; which meant, “I make a good choice and good comes of it.  I make a bad choice and bad comes of it.”  This was one of those seasons where making a seemingly good choice brought unexpected pain and disappointment and their faith needed stakes.

I remember walking with my child on the beach as they poured out their heart with little reserve or consolation.  It takes so few words for a parent to discern the meaning behind their child’s eyes, or understand the phrase that silently follows their sigh. 

 
At the end of our walk I said, “I know this is painful.  And I also know there is nothing I can do to fix it.  I know suggesting it will all work out for the good is useless right now - even though it’s true. But your dad and I have lived many more years than you and it has given us the chance to see God work.  We have more stories to look back upon and recall His faithfulness, even when God did not seem faithful at the time.  You are just beginning that journey.  Don't spend your energies conjuring up faith for stories that have yet to be told.   Rest in ours while God builds them in you.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to loan you my faith. Where you have none right now, borrow mine.  You can use as much as you want and claim it as your own until you have what you need.  It’s OK if you don’t or can’t believe God right now. I will believe on your behalf.  I will hold your story present before God, believing for you.  Borrow my stories until you have your own.  Borrow my faith until you find yours.”

Up until that night with my child I had not considered lending my faith to someone.  This was one of those moments when God showed up and dispensed His wisdom when I had none.  Since then, however, I've given the idea considerable thought.  Can someone actually borrow another’s faith?  Or was it just a lapse in judgment that caused me to say those words to my child? 

I recall a more personal experience when I struggled deeply over  something.  A friend came by and simply shared how she too had a similar struggle and it would pass -The days would get better.  Oh how I hung on those words. I didn't have the capacity to see beyond the immediate, but she could.

Faith Borrowing….

Here’s what Roman’s 8 has to say…”Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our [ expectant,wearied and waiting] condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."

In the way I offered my child my faith back then, and the way I borrowed my friends, God offers to His children something similar.   We can go limp and rest in His stories.  We can sigh and trust that the Holy Spirit will translate our breath into meaningful words before the Father.   We can borrow His stories in others until we have our own.   After all isn't that why we are surrounded by "such a great cloud of witnesses"?  Doesn't it help us "press on towards the goal" ?  Heb 12:1

So I am borrowing Mary’s faith as she sat at Jesus’ feet, abandoned to Him.

I am borrowing Esther’s faith as she waited for God to “right” the story and accomplish his purposes.

I am borrowing Peter’s faith while He stood at the fire with the resurrected Christ and reignited what had been snuffed out.

I am borrowing Joshua and Caleb’s faith as they saw giants in the land and believed against all odds that God would fight the battle.

I guess those trees in the park reminded me that sometimes we just need a little...

...Faith-Borrowing.

I'm Putting the Pen Down!

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Phil 1:6

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith...” – Hebrews 12:2

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jer. 29:11

My Daughter recently turned 15 and my son will be 18 in a few short months.  I’ve been imagining them at this age for a long time.  Mainly because it would be the last year they’d both be home, sharing this space they've come to know so well.  I can hardly believe we're here.  Where did the time go?

 I had no idea what to expect of this season except that it would most likely involve learning to let go to give them more independence.  When they were younger I imagined this stage as easy and carefree (even though plenty of people informed me otherwise),  and in some ways it is. There are no more midnight feedings, no babysitters to arrange, they can dress themselves and tie their own shoes (most of the time!), and on occasion they make dinner and do the laundry. 

In giving them independence, though, it means they are free to make decisions on their own. It means they begin to navigate this world in new ways that are independent of home and their parents.  Sometimes that brings me deep joy as I watch them spread their wings. Sometimes it makes me cringe as I watch them fly headlong into difficulty or disappointment...or the unknown; but they need all these experiences in order to grow and become mature, wise, confident, compassionate, functioning adults.

It’s funny how I often want to protect them from the situations that bring pain and disappointment.  I want to send them off into the world in bubble-wrap and forget it is through difficulty that God has done some of his best work in me.  I guess there's just something in a parent that impulsively lunges to the rescue when their child seems vulnerable to things that are risky or don’t make sense.  When my daughter was twelve I was caught trying to micro manage her world a bit too much.  She responded by saying, “Mom!  When will you put the pen down and let God write the story?”  Well that was a good question!  When would I?  Or better yet, WHY wasn’t I?

I find that I want to manage my kid’s world because I believe I know best.  But do I?  Don’t they have a God that is far better at managing the chapters of their story than I am?  Can’t I trust Him to be good when the situation does not LOOK good to me?  And most of all, don’t I want them to learn dependence upon this loving God that we call all knowing, all powerful, and all present?  If I keep placing myself into God’s role by seeking to manage their growing independent life, then they become dependent upon me not God. 

So I am choosing to put the pen down.  I have found that in doing so, I am free to enjoy the story a bit more and delight in what God might be doing. In the end, it opens up the opportunity for better conversation and shepherding because I can listen without agenda and they feel heard. We laugh together more…and we cry more too.  But we are all learning how to live with increasing dependence upon the one “who began the good work” in the first place, and trust “the author and perfecter of our faith”, because He indeed has it all planned out for the good.

Below is a sweet little video that depicts "leaving the nest quite well

http://www.wimp.com/mandarinducklings/