I'm Putting the Pen Down!

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Phil 1:6

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith...” – Hebrews 12:2

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jer. 29:11

My Daughter recently turned 15 and my son will be 18 in a few short months.  I’ve been imagining them at this age for a long time.  Mainly because it would be the last year they’d both be home, sharing this space they've come to know so well.  I can hardly believe we're here.  Where did the time go?

 I had no idea what to expect of this season except that it would most likely involve learning to let go to give them more independence.  When they were younger I imagined this stage as easy and carefree (even though plenty of people informed me otherwise),  and in some ways it is. There are no more midnight feedings, no babysitters to arrange, they can dress themselves and tie their own shoes (most of the time!), and on occasion they make dinner and do the laundry. 

In giving them independence, though, it means they are free to make decisions on their own. It means they begin to navigate this world in new ways that are independent of home and their parents.  Sometimes that brings me deep joy as I watch them spread their wings. Sometimes it makes me cringe as I watch them fly headlong into difficulty or disappointment...or the unknown; but they need all these experiences in order to grow and become mature, wise, confident, compassionate, functioning adults.

It’s funny how I often want to protect them from the situations that bring pain and disappointment.  I want to send them off into the world in bubble-wrap and forget it is through difficulty that God has done some of his best work in me.  I guess there's just something in a parent that impulsively lunges to the rescue when their child seems vulnerable to things that are risky or don’t make sense.  When my daughter was twelve I was caught trying to micro manage her world a bit too much.  She responded by saying, “Mom!  When will you put the pen down and let God write the story?”  Well that was a good question!  When would I?  Or better yet, WHY wasn’t I?

I find that I want to manage my kid’s world because I believe I know best.  But do I?  Don’t they have a God that is far better at managing the chapters of their story than I am?  Can’t I trust Him to be good when the situation does not LOOK good to me?  And most of all, don’t I want them to learn dependence upon this loving God that we call all knowing, all powerful, and all present?  If I keep placing myself into God’s role by seeking to manage their growing independent life, then they become dependent upon me not God. 

So I am choosing to put the pen down.  I have found that in doing so, I am free to enjoy the story a bit more and delight in what God might be doing. In the end, it opens up the opportunity for better conversation and shepherding because I can listen without agenda and they feel heard. We laugh together more…and we cry more too.  But we are all learning how to live with increasing dependence upon the one “who began the good work” in the first place, and trust “the author and perfecter of our faith”, because He indeed has it all planned out for the good.

Below is a sweet little video that depicts "leaving the nest quite well

http://www.wimp.com/mandarinducklings/ 
 

Vessels & Treasures

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness, made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.  But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. - 2 Cor 4:6-7

 

As I looked at the Christmas tree this year I noticed the lights strung neatly on the branches, the little ornaments that adorned the tree, some holding messages of hope, joy, peace, and love.  And I noticed the presents wrapped under the tree, each a temporary container treated carefully because it would be the little vessel by which a treasure would be revealed on Christmas morning.  My son was especially excited about unwrapping a set of old steel strings because it conveyed the promise of a 5-string acoustic bass hidden in the other room.  After gifts are unwrapped in my husband's family the kids head outside and form a bonfire out of all the wrappings...in a weird way, it has become a family tradition.  I mean really, keeping the wrappings would seem silly, right?  After all, they've served their purpose of conveying a treasure to someone.

 

A treasure and it's vessel....hmm... I'm challenged as I considered what I hold
sacred? Things are sacred because something special has come from them.  Like a present wrapped under the tree, "sacred" things are the little vessels by which we encounter certain treasures.  So I may hold a date night with my husband “sacred” because it allows me to spend meaningful time with him.  The same would be true with regard to my kids.  When they were young, tucking them into bed felt sacred because it brought the treasure of being with them during that time.  My kids are much older now and tucking them in at bedtime would just be strange!  To encounter the treasure of time spent with them now, has required the vessel to change.

The same can hold true for our spiritual life.  Vessels are good because they lead us to the treasure, which is a living encounter with Christ.  However, vessels are not the treasure themselves.  They are only as good as their ability to lead us TO the treasure. 
 

I find it easy to invert these two things.  I’ve done it plenty of times and I bet you have too.  It may be a particular style of music in church, a certain family/faith tradition, or even a church program.  All of which are meant to lead us to the treasure of personally encountering God and they do!  For the Israelites it was the tabernacle, for Moses it was a burning bush, a pillar of fire and a hovering cloud, for Paul it was a walk to Damascus, during the 1960’s and 70’s in the United States it was The Jesus Movement, for me it was summer camp, and a particular song. All have been vessels by which someone has encountered the living God.  In the right season these things seem sacred because of the treasure they carry.   But vessels change as God brings a new treasure of himself into our midst and if I am not open to the new ways in which I may encounter Him, I will miss Him altogether.  when I hold the vessel too tightly I will end up majoring on minors and minoring on the major because I’m compelled to preserve the wrong thing – the vessel.  Without the treasure the vessel is useless and empty.

When we major on the minors we do things like get angry, even mean, as we try to protect something we've grown attached to.  We may become demanding, insisting things happen a certain way – a way that puts our vessel front and center.  The problem is that when our sacred vessel is front and center, Christ is not.  Vessels and our responses to them, can become great distractions from the real thing.  Perhaps there is a certain Sunday School program through which many came to find Christ and thinking back on that season seems like the "glory days" of church to you.   What was sacred was the Christ encounter, but it would be easy to make the Sunday school program "sacred" and want to keep it preserved just the way it was; when in reality it was merely the vessel God chose at the time to bring His presence.

Vessels play a vital role in in our ongoing relationship with God, but those vessels may change over time. If we hold them too tightly we will lose the treasure of being with God.  That treasure will evade us because our ability to find Him becomes limited to the deteriorating walls of an old vessel.

For those of us who are methodical plodders, we may keep dusting off the same vessel, time after time, and wonder why God is being so distant or why our experience of him has become so blah and dry.  Perhaps the vessel we are using has run its course and it’s time for something new.  This by no means negates the old.  It was good and wonderful because for a time it helped us orient around the One True Treasure - Christ...

"Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved."...Jesus' words in Matt 9

Christ was preparing the people to encounter Him and His kingdom in a new way.

How have you encountered Christ in the past?  What made it meaningful? 

Are there vessels you've held onto that are no longer serving their purpose?

How have you worked to maintain or protect them (perhaps holding on too tight :))?

How is God inviting you to a new "wineskin" vessel so He can pour His new wine presence in you?