Beautiful, Lovely Community - Dealing with the vision, the disappointment, and the possibility of lasting Christian community

photo by Kelly Hofer

Welcome one another…Forgive one another….Be faithful… Bear with…Be kind, be compassionate…Spur on toward love and good deeds…Submit…Pray… Confess…Encourage…be united...share.

Don’t slander…Don’t make up stories that hurt…Don’t provoke… Don’t envy….

…love.  These are the “One Anothers” found in scripture; mostly in the writings from Paul. They offered a vision of community - One of gracious, open, and loving friendship.  I don't know about you, but I want to be a part of such a community.  

The Climate of the One-Another Community
  

Between Jesus and Paul, these characteristics of  come up 59 times.  Which suggests that not only was it a big deal, but also that it wasn’t already happening.  The early church was still learning what it meant to be followers of "The Jesus way".  Some of the disciples/apostles didn’t always get along (Acts 11, 15; and Gal 2).  And sometimes they were exclusive and cliquish with "outsiders" (Luke 9:54). They were often too tired or distracted to pray for each other (Matt 26:36-42).  There was disunity because of gossip.  Arrogance, misunderstandings, and, long-held offences fractured this new little church.  There were marital affairs, lawsuits, and distorted sexuality which Paul addressed in several of his letters to the churches.  Fear of persecution was real.  Unity in Christ and unconditional love, sparse!  This was the community in which the “one anothers” were interjected.

Sound familiar?  I’m going to venture a guess it isn’t much different from the community we see now, in the 21^st century.  The church is fractured and broken because it is made up of broken, fractured people - people who, like you and me, make mistakes, big and small, every day.  People who forget to pray their worries, but remember to gossip their concerns.  People whose pain is full but healing and forgiveness, slender.  People who feel isolated and desperately desire a close circle of friends. People who are still learning to be followers of "The Jesus way". 

The Search for Community

We long for a “one another” place, but rarely find it.  In fact most of us, after having sought it somewhere for a while, become disillusioned when our idea(l) of community is shattered.  We often move on, hoping to find a better version elsewhere.  We think we see it happening at this church or that group and we head there.  Perhaps it works for a while, but it isn't long before we are disillusioned again.  Like a pot at the end of a rainbow, healthy, robust community appears a promise always a bit out of reach. 

So what are we to do? In our efforts to find it we must first decide to BE the "One Another community ourselves.  What we long for begins with us learning to live like Jesus - gracious, open and loving...even when its hard.   It means I may need to re-arrange my life in such a way that it has room for relationships; which may require finding time for hospitality and honest conversation in lieu of sport activities, or my favorite T.V. show.  It means when a brother or sister who shares my

commitment to follow Christ comes to me with a concern about my life, I will openly and humbly listen, and courageously return the favor when needed. That's love and encouragement.  It means when I am angry or hurt by someone’s actions, I will let God do the work in me first, and I will process the situation with an appropriate few instead of seeking comfort through a prayer request that may only lead to further misunderstanding and offence.  That's forgiveness and regard for another's reputation.  It means I will confess my sins when appropriate, believing that in doing so God does a healing work in me (James).   It doesn’t mean I will do these things perfectly, in fact it’s likely I’ll get it wrong a lot of the time, but I will do them intentionally…with others who are desiring to do the same…we will “work out our salvation” and “not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing"…we will "spur one another on toward love and good deeds and all the more as we see the day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25) 

The Messy Work of One-Another-ness

Yet even as I type these words I feel the “ideal” creeping back in.  This is hard work, because often our vision collides with reality, and because of that, sometimes we’d rather use these “one anothers” as weapons of righteous indignation.  “Doesn’t scripture say to be kind?”  Comes our hearts-cry when we’ve been hurt.   “How can they call themselves a Christian and act like that!?”  ...And sometimes people feel that way about us.

One thing is becoming soberingly clear, we cannot transport and “drop” ourselves into loving community.  It must be built.  We become the recipients of it as we put hand to trowel, lock arms and decided to stay in it together…letting Christ form us through our collective surrender to his higher ways of love.  There was no other pathway for the early church and there is no other pathway for us.
In fact, crashing up against the disillusionment of the ideal can be a grace in disguise.  It affords us the opportunity to experience our need for love in a deeper way.  It is only when we become needy for love at the deepest heart level that we can begin to consider something more - Christ’s love.  When we run out of options that we thought would satisfy us, we are more open to Christ.  It enables us to receive His love as it pours itself into our vacant longings and we become full.   Full enough to love back. After all, we love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

So what do you think?
 Have you been on a search for community/friendship that continues to evade your experiences?
Are you moving from place to place to find it?  Are you looking for it in others and neglecting the role you play?

God has a vision for his church – a vision that takes form as we step into relationship with Him and others, release our ideal of it, and trust that in the messy work of “One Another-ness” we will encounter His good and beautiful life together.

Sight-Seeing

Recently I was in London touring around a bit with a few friends and classmates.  It struck me as kind of funny that none of us had taken along a tour map of the city.  We'd been there several days but had spent much of our time in classes.  It left us with a false sense of confidence as to our abilities to know the city, and it did not take long to realize the error of our ways, but we did not seem to care much about it.  As we encountered various structures or landmarks one of us would quip, “Wow!  That’s cool….I wonder what it is?  I bet it’s something really cool.”  Then we would laugh and go about our walk through town.  Now you could very well be thinking, “These people are crazy!  Why didn’t they just stop to find out?”  Great question to which I have no good answer except that it is making for good material in this blog post. 

We must have encountered a dozen sights that were completely missed on us because of our ignorance.   We had no idea of their story or significance.  At one point I noticed large, imposing arches along the path. As we weaved in and out of them I looked at the other’s and said, “What is this?  It seems significant.  I bet this is something really big and we just can’t tell because we’re too close.”  In keeping with the touring trend for the day, we shrugged our shoulders and kept walking, but the structure never seemed to end.  As we crossed the street we took a look back at where we had been and realized the building we were encountering was the Royal Court of Justice and the structure was MASSIVE!  We were surprised by its all-consuming presence that seemed to silently posture itself among the mundane.

That's when it struck me that God’s Kingdom can be similar.  It is often postured in the ordinary.   We may encounter something that feels significant, maybe a shared moment when heaven seems to come in and introduce itself, a small movement among a group of people, or a glimpse of tender care given to someone in need, and something resonates within us that suggest this “thing”... this “moment” seems significant.  We wonder if it is part of something bigger but we can’t quite bring it into view because what we are experiencing is only a small part of the whole picture.  We are, in that moment, experiencing a piece of God’s Kingdom – It’s His “Kingdom come, on earth as it is in Heaven”.  Our little home called Earth is bathed in God all the time!  We cannot escape it but sometimes we can sure miss it.

Just a few blocks before The Royal Court of Justice we encountered a Romanian Orthodox Church and our experience of that was entirely different than everything else, because we decided to step in and take a peek.   We became part of the service, we were up close with the people in the church, we could hear the music and watch families as they tended to children or walked over to light a candle for prayer.  We understood it just a bit more because we paused long enough to come in closer and encounter the stories held within its walls.

My point in sharing this with you is to bring thought to ways in which we may encounter the Kingdom of God and not even know it because we are unaware it’s “sights”.   Could it be that opportunities to participate in God’s Kingdom are missed on us because we are ignorant of its characteristics?  We spend plenty of time learning about God but less time stepping into the cathedral of his presence and discovering the subtle nuances of his way or the vast spance of his loving purpose and provision.  We tend to say, “Oh that’s cool.  I wonder what it is.  But because we are busy we may not take the time to step closer, peek in, discover its significance and find the treasure of the story held within. God invites us into the story, to become participants in His Kingdom. 

  I was in London studying what it means to be a better student, friend and follower of Jesus and participate in life with Him.  But I find I cannot do that if I do not know what I am looking for.  Jesus’ ministry was devoted to showing those who were interested the sights of the Kingdom.  Matthew chapter 5-7 is packed full of just that!  So is the Levitical Law – Both are a picture of God’s good kingdom and how it could be experienced and expressed among his children. 

So my challenge is this.  Slow down…take in the little moments and look for God in them – He’s there...and you don't want to miss it!  If you’re like me and in need of a map to explain the sights (frankly, we are ALL in need of the map.)  then let's spend time in Matthew 5-7…let's spend the rest of our life reading it…taking it in, getting close, and using it as our guide to discover the good and beautiful sights of God’s Kingdom.  You never know, we may just find ourselves living it in ways we never expected J