Beautiful, Lovely Community - Dealing with the vision, the disappointment, and the possibility of lasting Christian community

photo by Kelly Hofer

Welcome one another…Forgive one another….Be faithful… Bear with…Be kind, be compassionate…Spur on toward love and good deeds…Submit…Pray… Confess…Encourage…be united...share.

Don’t slander…Don’t make up stories that hurt…Don’t provoke… Don’t envy….

…love.  These are the “One Anothers” found in scripture; mostly in the writings from Paul. They offered a vision of community - One of gracious, open, and loving friendship.  I don't know about you, but I want to be a part of such a community.  

The Climate of the One-Another Community
  

Between Jesus and Paul, these characteristics of  come up 59 times.  Which suggests that not only was it a big deal, but also that it wasn’t already happening.  The early church was still learning what it meant to be followers of "The Jesus way".  Some of the disciples/apostles didn’t always get along (Acts 11, 15; and Gal 2).  And sometimes they were exclusive and cliquish with "outsiders" (Luke 9:54). They were often too tired or distracted to pray for each other (Matt 26:36-42).  There was disunity because of gossip.  Arrogance, misunderstandings, and, long-held offences fractured this new little church.  There were marital affairs, lawsuits, and distorted sexuality which Paul addressed in several of his letters to the churches.  Fear of persecution was real.  Unity in Christ and unconditional love, sparse!  This was the community in which the “one anothers” were interjected.

Sound familiar?  I’m going to venture a guess it isn’t much different from the community we see now, in the 21^st century.  The church is fractured and broken because it is made up of broken, fractured people - people who, like you and me, make mistakes, big and small, every day.  People who forget to pray their worries, but remember to gossip their concerns.  People whose pain is full but healing and forgiveness, slender.  People who feel isolated and desperately desire a close circle of friends. People who are still learning to be followers of "The Jesus way". 

The Search for Community

We long for a “one another” place, but rarely find it.  In fact most of us, after having sought it somewhere for a while, become disillusioned when our idea(l) of community is shattered.  We often move on, hoping to find a better version elsewhere.  We think we see it happening at this church or that group and we head there.  Perhaps it works for a while, but it isn't long before we are disillusioned again.  Like a pot at the end of a rainbow, healthy, robust community appears a promise always a bit out of reach. 

So what are we to do? In our efforts to find it we must first decide to BE the "One Another community ourselves.  What we long for begins with us learning to live like Jesus - gracious, open and loving...even when its hard.   It means I may need to re-arrange my life in such a way that it has room for relationships; which may require finding time for hospitality and honest conversation in lieu of sport activities, or my favorite T.V. show.  It means when a brother or sister who shares my

commitment to follow Christ comes to me with a concern about my life, I will openly and humbly listen, and courageously return the favor when needed. That's love and encouragement.  It means when I am angry or hurt by someone’s actions, I will let God do the work in me first, and I will process the situation with an appropriate few instead of seeking comfort through a prayer request that may only lead to further misunderstanding and offence.  That's forgiveness and regard for another's reputation.  It means I will confess my sins when appropriate, believing that in doing so God does a healing work in me (James).   It doesn’t mean I will do these things perfectly, in fact it’s likely I’ll get it wrong a lot of the time, but I will do them intentionally…with others who are desiring to do the same…we will “work out our salvation” and “not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing"…we will "spur one another on toward love and good deeds and all the more as we see the day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25) 

The Messy Work of One-Another-ness

Yet even as I type these words I feel the “ideal” creeping back in.  This is hard work, because often our vision collides with reality, and because of that, sometimes we’d rather use these “one anothers” as weapons of righteous indignation.  “Doesn’t scripture say to be kind?”  Comes our hearts-cry when we’ve been hurt.   “How can they call themselves a Christian and act like that!?”  ...And sometimes people feel that way about us.

One thing is becoming soberingly clear, we cannot transport and “drop” ourselves into loving community.  It must be built.  We become the recipients of it as we put hand to trowel, lock arms and decided to stay in it together…letting Christ form us through our collective surrender to his higher ways of love.  There was no other pathway for the early church and there is no other pathway for us.
In fact, crashing up against the disillusionment of the ideal can be a grace in disguise.  It affords us the opportunity to experience our need for love in a deeper way.  It is only when we become needy for love at the deepest heart level that we can begin to consider something more - Christ’s love.  When we run out of options that we thought would satisfy us, we are more open to Christ.  It enables us to receive His love as it pours itself into our vacant longings and we become full.   Full enough to love back. After all, we love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

So what do you think?
 Have you been on a search for community/friendship that continues to evade your experiences?
Are you moving from place to place to find it?  Are you looking for it in others and neglecting the role you play?

God has a vision for his church – a vision that takes form as we step into relationship with Him and others, release our ideal of it, and trust that in the messy work of “One Another-ness” we will encounter His good and beautiful life together.

Labeling

Have you ever mislabeled something?  Boy I have!  Once, I was leaving to take a few things to the thrift store when I noticed that one of the bags did not feel quite right.  Upon looking inside I found a bag of leaves meant for the green –garbage that was picked up the day before. I had mixed up the bags!  If only I had checked before I labeled them!  Now a bag of clothes meant for the thrift store sits wasted in a refuse pile across town.   I am struck by the power of labeling.  I made an assumption about the contents of the bag based on the label I had given it.  The problem is that the label was wrong and it caused me to hold on to the wrong thing and throw out what was good.   So what am I getting at, you ask?

“But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, 'Raca,' is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell." Matt 5:22

            Jesus warns the religious people not to call their brother a fool or say to them “raca” because it labels them.  When someone is labeled a fool it gives others permission to dismiss him as such, without regard to his intrinsic worth.  The term “raca” literally implies spitting with disgust.  To say “raca” is to show deep contempt.  Neither scenario is acceptable before God because of the attitude within the heart.  But here’s the kicker!  In Matt 12 (see link at bottom) Jesus goes on to say that all sin shall be forgiven, except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.  When I was younger I used to worry that someday I would somehow “blaspheme the Holy Spirit” ending up in hell when I died.  The verse always bothered me and I made a few attempts to explain it to myself but nothing seemed quite right until I considered the whole context of Jesus' message. I had not considered the context of Jesus’ words until recently.  Jesus was not saying that for the most part God will forgive you, but if you happen to commit this one “unforgivable sin”, then it stinks to be you - there’s no grace for that one – bummer!  Honestly, it sounds ridiculous when put that way, but it’s what I believed and I imagine some of you have too. So let’s look at the context. 

Jesus is dealing with religious opposition coming His way.  He was saying that as soon as you label something that is intrinsically right, true and good, as “bad”, you prevent yourself from ever receiving the benefit of its truth, righteousness and goodness.  It was a warning to the Pharisees and religious leaders about labeling the movement of God among them.  

If they labeled Jesus as bad they could not receive His good because anything He said or did would become suspect to them due to the label they had placed upon Him - much like the way I mislabeled the bags in our garage.  Only in this case it was a label of dismissal and contempt that called Christ and what He did as "of the devil".   It caused them to reject His message altogether.   Then, of course it would stand to reason that they would be in danger of “eternal damnation”; but not because God, in offence, decided to hoist them off into a fiery pit.  It was because they postured themselves against the good news of Jesus.  Included in that good news was the promise of the Holy Spirit to all who chose to follow and embrace Christ as Messiah.  John 14:25-26 says, “All this I have spoken while still with you, but the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have said to you.”  How can the Holy Spirit teach one who is unwilling to trust His instruction?  But then again, the Holy Spirit would not be theirs in the first place because they had rejected the vessel through which it came – Christ. 

            Something happens when we label.  Assumptions get made and opinions and meaning get rooted.  Sometimes something is labeled poorly or without regard.   I threw out what was good and accidentally saved what was bad because I mislabeled it. The pharisees did the same; only with much higher consequences.

            How do we mislabel things?  I see it happen in the church all the time.  We hear a term and make an assumption around its meaning then throw out the good that can be received from the teaching because we misunderstand it.  We see someone associated with another and uncharitably label either of them and miss out on the potential of shared community in Christ (and we wonder why we feel isolated at times.)  Sometimes we label something as "bad" because it makes us feel uncomfortable even though we're not sure why.  I wonder what I would have done, given all the same ingredients that the Pharisees had.  Would I have labeled Jesus in the same manner as they?  His words were so disruptive and often broke the cultural and religious rules.  How would I have responded to the movement of God they were encountering?  What are the disruptions that I label as “bad” now? Is it possible that the cultural and religious rules that have become sacred to me are actually blinding me to the gift of Jesus himself?

These are my thoughts and I’d love to hear yours J  

Here's the link to the passage mentioned

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+12%3A22-37&version=NIV

Lord, open my eyes to your kingdom work in and around me - I want to follow you.  May I hold nothing sacred that would prevent me from fully acknowledging and following you. - Amen.